I know my posts are few and far between, and I decided today that I’m just going to embrace that and live with it. I am not a professional writer, and I just don’t have the time to do this more often. So, although I’d love to post weekly, or even more than once a week, I just have to realize that at this point in my life I am not able to sit down and type at the computer “for fun” even once a week.
When life gets busy, my running and my blogging suffer. And, at this point, life is ALWAYS busy. I’m hoping things slow down around October. (2020)
Today I headed out for a run, and felt awesome in the first mile. Then the lack of much extensive running these past few weeks took hold, and I got more and more tired. I still managed 5 miles, but I had to take several walk breaks. I’m not frustrated by this. I’m actually okay with it. I think I would have felt worse about it if I had stopped at 3 miles and called it good. But I decided that even with walk breaks, I wanted to do 5 miles so that I would feel I had accomplished something. And I realized, this is what happens when you push running to the back burner to deal with life. But struggling to complete 5 miles is a hard thing to accept when you are used to expecting so much more. A month ago I ran two half marathons in two weeks, and 10 miles the next weekend. Of course I came home after that 10 mile run and spent the day sick in bed…whether that was the run or not I don’t know.
But, in the end, what I am doing is spending the time on things that mean more to me. My kids, my family, and work. (yeah, work). I love running, and I love it even more when it’s effortless and rewarding. And right now it’s not very rewarding – it’s frustrating. But I also know that this is only a phase, and I’ll get back into it when it makes more sense. I’m done promising myself that soon things will slow down and I will have more time.
It makes me wonder how others squeeze it all in. I can’t even fathom training for another marathon right now when I’m hardly getting in a few miles a few times a week. And some people hit the gym daily? And cook dinner for their family? And play catch in the back yard? And clean the house? And go swimming? And play at the park? My head is spinning just thinking about all the things we AREN’T doing.
I need to relax. We’re taking some vacation time in the next few weeks, and I need that desperately. I may post more if I have time, but then again, I may not. And I’m going to be okay with that.
So, as someone once said to me, “I’ll see you when I see you.” Seems appropriate.